Pickers

Who’s who.

Daniel – Seventeen years old, lives at home with mum, dad, older sister, and grandad, who was a vet. His father has taken over the Veterinary practice, and his older sister is in her last year of vet school; his mum stays at home.

Beatrice- known as Mrs B runs the local picking group and busybody (think of Mrs Bucket from Keeping up Appearances) every year and helps out at a donkey sanctuary in Greece. 

Ivana- Board trophy housewife, husband works in the city, goes out at 6 am and arrives back after 9 pm; she goes out for lunch with the girls in her brand-new Range Rover and buys lots of shoes.

Edith - Retired Postmistress loves cats, lives in a bungalow, and spends her afternoons doing macramé.

Dave – A retired civil servant, from Pontypridd, South Wales, tells everyone he worked for MI5. (And he has the most annoying Welsh accent ever)

Tracy – A Teacher lives with her wife, who is the headteacher of a different school. Tracy is addicted to online gambling on her phone

Ping, ping, ping, ping, ping.  

“Will you turn off that phone...... or answer it?” came from downstairs.

“Mum, it’s the Ellerby Heroes we're going picking behind Wicks, I did tell you,” 

“I don’t care if it’s the Wombles of Wimbledon, it’s annoying.”

Daniel came down the stairs and met his mother in the hallway. “We need a word,” Daniel’s mum stated, standing with one hand on her hip, the other holding a cup of Earl Grey.

Ping, ping, ping...

“Mum, I’m gonna be late, can we talk later?”

Putting her cup down on the stand next to a Grandmother clock and grabbing her son by the shoulders, “When are you going to get a job? And sort your life out?”

Pulling away from her grasp- “Jeeze Mum, how many times, I know Granddad was a vet, Dad is a vet and Jessie is going to be the next James Herriot,” taking a step back, “shoving my arm up a cow's lady bits and castrating horses is not for me.....OK” 

Ping ping, ping.

“That bloody phone,” his Mum said, “it will turn me to drink.”

“Gotta go, mum will chat later,” after kissing her on the cheek, Daniel ran out the back door and grabbed his pickers, bags and HiViz vest.   

Walking towards the meeting point, he saw Mrs B, Ivana, and Tracy.  “Edith not with us today?” he asked the group.

“No,” said Tracy “, taking one of her cats to see your dad, he’s not been to the toilet for three days.”

Waving his hands in the air, Daniel said, “Woooo, too much information.” 

Tapping her pickers on the side of a wheelie bin, Mrs B greeted the group. “Good morning, Pickers are you ready for a productiv Pick?”

Ivana nudged Daniel, “Glad you’re here, better put your HiViz on or you’ll be put in detention.”

“Cheers,” Daniel smiled.

“What’s up? You don’t seem to be with it today,” asked Ivana.

Fastening his HiViz, then picking up his bags, “Mum’s been on at me again; get a job blar blar blar, sort your life out, blar blar blar”

“You two, please pay attention, you know we have to do the safety briefing before we go picking,” said Mrs B.

Mrs B went through the briefing as she did at the start of every pick; Tracy spent the whole time on her phone.

After the briefing, they all walked off towards Wicks DIY store.

Daniel and Ivana were in front by a few hundred feet. Mrs B and Tracy were chatting about Donkeys.

“What do you do all day?” asked Ivana.

Shrugging his shoulders, “Don’t know, watch a movie, and play on the Xbox.” 

Ivana used her pickers to pick up a discarded face mask, “You know, this does pee me off, there’s a bin not ten feet away, but rather than walk to it, someone has thrown it on the floor.”

Daniel picked up a cigarette packet and dropped it into his Salford Council refuse bag.

“Yeah, some lazy people about”

“So” now walking closer to Daniel, Ivana asked ‘What do you want from life?”

Letting out a big breath, “Some excitement, something out of the ordinary, you know what I mean?”

“I do,” Ivana said sympathetically, bending down to pick up a crisp packet. “People think I have it easy, the big house, the flashy car” Ivana was interrupted by Mrs B as she and Tracy came around the corner.

“Pickers, Pickers, please……, Health and Safety; you don’t know how many germs are on that bag.”

In a low tone, Ivana said, “Yes, Miss,” and did a mock salute.

Daniel smiled and turned his back on Mrs B.

Ivana spotted some fast-food wrappers in a bush on the opposite side of the road; she slowly walked over, picking a few bits on the way. Daniel walked around the bush to attack the litter from the other side.

“Are you saying you're not happy?”  Daniel said through the bush.

“I’m not saying I’m not happy per se, I, like you, need some excitement,” dropping a McDonald’s wrapper and a drinks container into her bag Ivana twisted her body and lent on her pickers, “At first it was fun, he” Daniel presumed Ivana was talking about her husband “was out all day. I had a gym built in the shed…”

“Shed you havin a laugh? It’s bigger than our double garage.”

“Ok, bespoke home office slash gym, as I was saying, gym in the morning, coffee with the girls, shopping, and a few drinks in the afternoon. It gets a bit same old same old.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean”, raising his brows.

“Cheeky sod” Ivana gave him a playful punch on the shoulder. 

Daniel then noticed Ivana had dimples on each cheek when she smiled. He had never looked at her that way before then he noticed her body.

Mrs B and Tracy caught up.

“Group, can we have a quick confab?” Daniel, Ivana, and Tracy stood in front of Mrs B.

Having an audience made Beatrice feel a foot taller than her actual five feet one and a half inches that she was. 

“Today we are tackling the undergrowth at the back of Wicks; I have,” she paused so it would sound more dramatic, “Intel from a reliable source,” 

Tracy turned to Ivana, whispering, “Yeah, Dave the spy.”  

Coughing to get Tracy’s attention, “As I was saying, from a reliable source, someone has been camping out at the back of Wicks, so please tread with care, there could be drug paraphernalia and discarded bodily fluids.”

Ivana started to gag; Daniel took a step away, not wanting her to vomit on his shoes. 

From a path to the right came Dave.

“Morning, morning” 

The group turned to see Dave walking towards them carrying his black holdall and wearing his multi-pocketed Gilet with every pocket bursting with god knows what.

“So sorry I’m late, I was zooming with the old firm.”

“Sounds interesting, tells us more,” said Mrs B

“Ohh sorry my Love, all hush-hush,” tapping his finger on the side of his nose, “What I can say” Dave placed his bag on the floor, taking out his what looked like a freshly ironed HiViz vest, “I’ve been asked to consult on a matter of great importance.” 

Tracy looked at Ivana and whispered, “We’ll never hear the end of this now.” She replied, “Look at Mrs B, she loves it, and thinks he’s royalty”

“Mrs B, have you told them about the rough sleeper?” Dave asked as he put on his gloves.

“Yes, Mr Jones, I was just briefing them.”

“No need to be formal, not got my Knighthood yet, Dave will do.”

Mrs B blushed, “Would you like to pass on the information you have?”

“Ok, right now listen up” Dave did the looking over his shoulder thing.

“Do you think he’s putting the accent on, or does he speak like that all the time?”

Daniel asked Ivana, who started to giggle, and once again, he noticed her dimples.

“The information I have is that someone has been living in the wooded area to the rear of the cottages, and as a personal favour to an ex-colleague at the old firm, I said I would go and see.” 

“Could he be dangerous?” asked Mrs B. 

“Or she”, Tracy jumped in with “you’re just presuming”, still looking down at her phone. 

“Sorry, Tracy, I was forgetting, I apologise, would you like to put your phone away?”

“Ladies, please. All we need to do is have a look and I will pass on what we find, it’s that clear.”

“Clear as mud,” Daniel said under his breath as he walked away, picking up some beer cans with German writing on them. “Guess one of the overnight truckers had a party, that’s ten cans I’ve just bagged,” he said to anyone who was listening.

“I don’t know how they manage to drive the next day; I wouldn’t chance it with a glass of wine”, Ivana answered, beating him to the last can. 

Dave, Mrs B and Tracy had walked up the hill towards the old cottages and the thick undergrowth. Ivana walked behind slowly.

“You know if you ever want to use the Gym you can,” Ivana told Daniel.  

“Ha, me in a gym, I don’t think so.”

“It’s not just a gym, we have a sauna and a steam room, I wanted a plunge pool but that never happened.”

As they topped the hill, they could see Mrs B waving her pickers as though she was sending a semaphore message.

“Come on, I’ll race you” Ivana set off; her slim athletic body bounced as she left Daniel standing.  

They arrived at the tent.

“Look, look, a tent and the remnants of a campfire. Mrs B looked like she was going to burst.

“You ok Daniel?” Tracy asked as he held onto a tree to get his breath back,

“Yeah...... tried to........ Keep up with....... Zola Bud here,”  

Ivana smiled, “I’ll get you fit, three weeks with me and you’ll be a different man.”

“Ok, ok, this is a litter picking group, not a keep fit group, let’s get back to the job in hand, shall we?” Mrs B tried to keep the group focused, and she was interested in what, if anything, they would find in the tent.

“Thirty minutes with her you’ll be a different man, be careful Daniel,” Tracy said in a low voice. 

Daniel smiled as he watched Ivana take off her fleece, twice in one day now he had noticed her body.

“Right” Dave was taking charge of the group, “Daniel you come with me, you ladies stay back.”

Tracy wasn’t having any of it; she pushed passed him towards the tent.

“Chauvinistic pig, I’ll show him” Tracy banged on the side of the tent with her pickers shouting, “Hay, if you're in there, come out, we have the place surrounded, so no funny stuff, OK?” 

Dave bent in a fighting stance with his pickers at the ready,

Mrs B walked backwards away from the tent,

Daniel was looking at the sun shining on Ivana and how her hair looked golden.

Ivana noticed, so she stuck out her chest.

“Looks like there’s no one home,” Tracy said as she bent down to grab hold of the zip, pulling it up to the highest point she could. She then bent down and pulled the horizontal zip to the right. Peering inside the tent, “Yep, definitely no one home,” she concluded.

As she was folding the unzipped door over the side, then unzipped the left side, Dave appeared next to her, “Bloody Hell, Dave, give me a heart attack, why don’t you!”   

“Sorry Love,” Dave said squeezing in, “Just curious about why my mates back at the old firm are interested in this tent.” 

Taking out a notepad and pen from one of the pockets on his Gilet, “I need to note down everything that’s in if you don’t mind" " pushing Tracy out of the way.

“Cheeky beggar, who does he think he is, and” tapping Mrs B on the arm, “who is” now using her fingers to do inverted commas “The old firm? For all, we know he could have been a cleaner.”

Mrs B coughed and spluttered, “Oh now, he was someone of importance, he’s told me about some cases he’s worked on, obviously I cannot divulge as he told me in the utmost confidence.”

Daniel walked behind the tent picking up discarded cig packets, food wrappers and some vodka bottles and dropping them in his bag. When picking up another bottle, he saw it was still sealed, and it was then he noticed a black bin bag wedged between a tree and the cottage boundary wall. Looking over his shoulder, he saw no one was near, so he made his way towards the bag. Breaking a few branches along the way, he could feel the sharp brambles cutting into his legs and arms. Looking back at the group, one more time, he could see Mrs B and Tracy, he knew Dave was in the tent, so where was Ivana? He thought. 

“Hey, what have you found?”

“Shit, Ivana, don’t do that!” Daniel’s heart was beating faster, “a bin bag full of rubbish, think I’ll leave it.” 

“No, come on, we’ve come this far” Ivana held down some branches while Daniel climbed over, kneeling by the tree, he ripped open the bin bag, inside was a black holdall.

“What’s in it?” Ivana asked looking back to see if anyone was watching,

“Shush, a black holdall similar to Dave’s,”

“Open it, come on.”

“Hang on” Daniel pulled the zip back a little not knowing what could be in the bag.

“Jesus.......” he leant back on the tree.

“What, Jesus what Daniel?” Ivana made her way to him, the brambles were cutting into her legs and ripping her leggings. As she reached him, she could see what Daniel was looking at.      

Dave crawled out of the tent backwards stood and scratched his chin,

“Everything alright Dave?” Mrs B quizzed.

“On a safety point of view, yes, on the user of the tent, no, it looks like he”, then remembering Tracy was standing in earshot, Dave added “or she, has long gone.”

Daniel and Ivana came from the back of the tent. Ivana was rubbing her knees and pulling at her leggings to straighten them where they had got caught on the brambles. Tracy gave Daniel that look of What have you been up to?

Mrs B walked nearer to Ivana, “Oh dear whatever happened to you?”

“Oh, it’s nothing, just got caught in some brambles reaching for a bottle of Vodka’ look it’s not even been opened” holding up one of the bottles Daniel found.

“What’s up with Inspector Gadget?” Daniel said pointing his pickers at Dave, who was taking out a mini camera from one of his many pockets.

“Something fishy going on I think,” Tracy said using her arm to direct Daniel and Ivana away from Dave and Mrs B, “I think” looking over her shoulder to make sure they were far enough not to hear what she was about to say, “I think he was expecting to find something or someone.”

Daniel jumped in with “What do you mean? Something”

“I don’t know it’s just a feeling, when I opened the tent, he pushed past me so I couldn't get a look inside and when he got inside the flaps fell, and I know I velcroed them open.”

Ivana squeezed Daniel’s arm. She thought he was going to push it further, “Shush”, she whispered in his ear.

Tracy noticed Ivana holding Daniel’s arm “Is there something I should...” 

A camera flash caught Tracy’s attention.   

“What’s he doing now?” Tracy moved away from Ivana and Daniel to Dave, who was taking photos of the tent.

“Take it easy Daniel” still holding his arm

What do you mean, by “Take it easy?” 

“I thought you were going to say something”

Turning to face her, he was a good six inches taller, looking down at her, his mind started to race, and his heart started to beat double time. It had been a long time since he had been this close to a woman, well, actually, the first time he had been this close to a woman.

Pulling back quickly and releasing his arm from her grasp and turning away, he exclaimed, “I need a drink,” hoping Ivana hadn’t noticed the bulge in his trousers.

Daniel walked over to the tent holding his litter-picking bag in front of him, “Find anything?” he asked openly. 

“Not much, proof someone has been camping out for about three weeks, but nothing to say who,” Mrs B said out loud, “Dave is documenting everything we find so can you leave the vodka bottles” then put her hand up to one side of her mouth as to direct her voice, “I think he’s going to fingerprint them.” 

“Before I put my camera away did anyone find anything else?” Dave looked at the group, spending a few seconds on each, reading their body language, looking for a sign to see if any of them were hiding something. 

“Mrs B anything?”

“Oh, no I’ve been by your side all the time.”

“Tracy, can you put your phone away and answer my question,” 

Closing the online slots app “Sorry what was the question?”

“Dave asked, have you found anything you’ve not declared to the group?”

“Yeah, I found a canoe look it’s here in my pocket,” She said sarcastically looking at Daniel to see his response, “Anyway who put you in charge?”

“Now now, Tracy, let’s keep it civil, Dave’s only asking a question” Mrs B was getting agitated. 

“Ok, no, I have found nothing I have not declared.”

“Thank you, how about you two?” looking at Daniel, and Ivana, who was now standing behind Daniel, “I noticed you wandered off,”

Daniel turned to Ivana, and shrugged his shoulder, “Me, nothing, what about you?”

Ivana was twisting her leggings around so the pattern matched on both legs, “Me no, all I got was a full bottle of Vodka and holes in my leggings” She could feel Daniel looking down at her legs, so she slid her hands up slowly then looked at him, he turned away quickly.

“So, what about the tent are we just leaving it here?” asked Tracy “and you” pointing at Dave, “what are you doing with the photographs you took?”

Mrs B, Daniel and Ivana looked at Dave waiting for an answer,

“Well, when I get back to the ranch, I will download them and complete my report on a secure server and send it to my contact. I will ask about the tent if we should depose of it or ask the local council to come out.”  

Mrs B stepped forward, looking at her watch, “Well, I think we have had a productive pick. I count ten bags, if we leave them by the gates, I will send a message to picking HQ to get them collected,” coughing and changing her stance. “Now regarding the tent and what Dave is doing please let’s keep it on a need-to-know basis.”

“Need to know? What does that mean?” Tracy asked. 

“You’ve all heard the saying ‘what goes on tour stays on tour’ well there is no need to go telling the estate or putting it on the group chat or social media, do you understand?”

As they walked away from the cottages towards the gates near Wicks carrying the litter bags, Ivana nudged Daniel. “What?” he asked.

“You know, the bag,”

“What about it?” Ivana was slowing down so the group couldn’t hear.

“Tell me again how you’re going to get the bag?” once again Ivana held onto Daniel’s arm. A moment earlier, he had pulled up his sleeves, hoping she would touch it again, and she did; he was beginning to like it.

“I’ll go back when we drop the bags off at the gates; I’ll say I dropped my phone, get the bag and walk the other way round.”

“OK, I’ll get home open the side gate, and you will come round down the side through the garden, and I’ll be waiting in the gym.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

--------------

Daniel informed the group he must have dropped his phone by the tent, he took off his HiViz and walked back to the tent looking over his shoulder intermittently, he could hear the forklift truck and voices in wicks yard, he looked through the bushes he couldn’t see them so he presumed they couldn’t see him.

Arriving at the tent, he pushed past the brambles, and on reaching the tree, he did a quick look around. His heart was pounding in his chest, not like when he was looking at Ivana; this was different.

Kneeling he moved the fallen leaves he had placed on the bag earlier. 

“Yes,” he said, then looked around to see if any dog walkers had decided to walk that path at the exact time, and he retrieved the bag. Finding the bag’s handles, he pulled at it… it wouldn’t budge. Changing his stance and using a stick to move twigs and soil that had been placed on top of the bag to disguise it from any passersby. Daniel stood up, took hold of the handles, and pulled. He could feel the blood rushing to his head, releasing his grip, he rested. “One, two, three,” he counted out loud then tugged at the handles, and the bag came free. Daniel fell back landing on the tree and banging his head, “Bloody hell” he said letting go of the bag and rubbing his head. 

Sliding down to the ground he brushed off all the dirt and leaves. 

Wanting to open it and have another look was getting the better of him.

Holding the zip in his left hand ready to have another look, he stopped himself.

“No, I’ll wait till I get to Ivana,” he thought.

While walking backwards out of the brambles and dragging the bag, he heard a dog barking. 

“Shit,” Pulling the bag through the brambles, it was free. Standing up straight, he walked towards the gap between the back of the cottages and the car park. He realised it was lunchtime and the car park was full. Dropping down from the grass verge to the car park, he made his way through the cars towards Wynne Avenue.

“Just walk, just keep walking,” he said to himself, “No one is interested in a spotty youth carrying a holdall off the car park onto Wynne Ave”. 

“Just keep walking, don’t look back” Oasis Don’t Look Back in Anger came to his head, and he started to hum the chorus as he reached the corner of Wynne and Ellerby. Oasis had gone; his thoughts went to what was in the bag.

Passing Chessington Rise, he saw the house, the biggest on the estate. 

“Two minutes, two minutes, that’s all, then I’ll be safe.” This house was big, with enough room on the drive for four cars, central double doors and bay windows on either side.

Beep, Beep Beep, “Keep walking, they don’t want me.”

Beep, Beep…. “Daniel, Daniel, Yhoo whooo,”

Daniel stopped, turning to the road, “Oh, hi Miss Brookhouse, are you ok?”

“Please, Daniel, Edith will do, we’ve known each other a long time,”

“Ok, Edith, is there anything I can help you with?”

“No no” Edith was leaning over to the gear stick to see Daniel, “just thought I’d tell you I went to see your dad this morning, took Princess here,” pointing down to the cat sitting on a blanket on the passenger seat, “That’s why I couldn’t come picking, did you have enough people? How did it go?”

“Oh, we had a good morning, Mrs B obviously, Tracy and Ivana, then Mr MI5 turned up and took over.”

“Haha, thought he would, any gossip, or juicy bits to tell me?” Edith let down the hand brake so she could lean nearer to the passenger window. It must have been uncomfortable because she straightened herself back up. Daniel noticed the cat sitting on the blanket and eating what looked like a ham sandwich. 

“I’m sure Mrs B will fill you in when you ring her.” 

The holdall was getting heavy, so Daniel placed it on the floor between his legs. 

“Look, Mrs Brook… Edith,” he lent forward and patted the cat on the head, “I bet you’ll want to get the Princess home and put the kettle on, so I’ll let you go.”

“Good thinking, Daniel. See you later.”

“Bye,” Daniel straightened his back and waved.

“No more interruptions, please,” he said to himself while walking across the drive at Ivana’s house, which took forever. Her Range Rover shone in the midday sun, and the gate was open, “Twenty steps, ten steps, I’m in.”

Closing the gate behind him, he walked down the side of the house towards the Gym, another gate which was closed. Flicking the lock open, he walked into the back garden. 

“Bloody hell”, he hadn’t seen the gym from this angle before. The front of the wooden structure was a wall of glass, which was something from a grand design program on TV, he thought.

Reaching the open door, he walked in.

“Ivana,” he said in a low tone.

“In the loo, come in, shut the door, I’ll be out in a minute” was the reply.

Closing the door, he dropped the holdall in a corner, hearing the toilet flush and then water running, he stood and waited.

Ivana came from behind a door, wiping her hands on some tissue she had changed out of her leggings and a baggy T-shirt.

“God, Daniel, I thought you weren’t coming, I was having kittens, where’s the bag?”

Pointing to the corner near the door, and trying not to look at her short shorts and a cropped top. 

“Come on, open the bag, let’s have a look,” Ivana was like a kid in a candy shop.

“In a minute, it’s not going anywhere; let me look at this place.”

Daniel stood agog, “This is huge.” 

Looking to his left, the wall of glass he could see outside was a two-way mirror; you could see outside, but no one could see in. In front of the window lay free weights, dumbbells, barbells, and a selection of kettle drum weights; they looked like they had never been used, straight out of the box. Going around the room was a rowing machine, a cross trainer and a Peloton bike positioned in front of a window looking over the garden. To the rear of the gym, he saw a treatment table with a hole on one end.  

“What’s through there?” Daniel pointed to a door, still trying not to look at what she was wearing.

“The Loo, sauna, and steam room, you wanna have a look?”

“Sure,” 

As Ivana opened the second door, the heat hit him,

“Wow that’s warm” Daniel could feel his shirt start to stick to his body.

“Yeah, we leave it on all the time so you can jump in whenever you want, I’m too lazy to wait thirty minutes for it to get to temperature, do you wanna try it?” 

He could feel his face going red; he didn’t know if it was the heat from the sauna or Ivana’s short shorts or the smell of her perfume.

“Maybe next time, shall we have a look in the bag?” he said, changing the subject and getting the images out of his head.

Closing the sauna door and letting Daniel walk first, Ivana placed her hand on his shoulder. 

He pulled himself away from her touch as he could feel his heart beating faster.

Placing the bag on the treatment table, he looked at Ivana,

“Are you ready for this?”

“Yeah, let’s do it”, Ivana answered. 

The End.

That was the first of three short stories about Litter Pickers in Clifton, Manchester. If you liked it, you can get the other two on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Pickers-Paul-Jackson-ebook/dp/B09ZYW3VQQ?ref_=ast_author_dp&th=1&psc=1