Brasic Street

A short script for an imaginary soap opera.

HOOK: In a crumbling Salford house share, six skint twenty-somethings battle missing cheese, unpaid bills, power cuts and each other—while desperately trying to hold their lives together. 

TITLE: Brasic Street

CHARACTERS:

·       CHLOE (22): Revising for her next Interview. (Identifies as non-binary)

·       MARCUS (24): Media student.

·       ALEX (23): Moans about anything and everything.

·       SOPHIE (21): Away with the fairies.

·       DAN (25): Always looking for how to make a few quid on the side.

·       SAM (22): Keep fit fanatic.

SETTING: The cramped kitchen/living room of an HMO in Salford. View from the window, the grey towers of MediaCityUK gleam in the distance, as the River Irwell meanders slowly past.

[SCENE START]

(The stage is chaotic. CHLOE sits at the breakfast bar, buried in magazines. MARCUS is on the sofa, aggressively editing on a laptop with headphones half on. ALEX stares into the fridge. An annoying noise of an exercise bike being ridden from a room off the kitchen can be heard)

ALEX

Ok, who the hell has eaten my cheese?

CHLOE

(Without looking up)

Don’t look at me. I don’t eat anything with eyes.

ALEX

Werdio. She thinks Cheese has eyes.

SAM

(A voice from a bedroom off the kitchen)

Again, you moron, she is not a she, she is a them or a they, or is it he – her?

MARCUS

(Pulling off headphones)

Not me, Mate, your cheese smells like some old tramp’s sweaty feet.

(SOPHIE enters, holding a damp umbrella. She looks cheerful despite the torrential downpour outside.)

SOPHIE

Hi everyone! The rain today is so beautiful. It sparkles like diamonds in the sky.

ALEX

It’s not diamonds, you nut job. It’s acidic rain. Have you been sniffing a permanent marker again?

(Looking around the room)

Last week, I caught her licking a Prit stick.

SOPHIE

Oh! Shut up, Alex, you're just a, a, A Caveman.

(Alex laughs)

  CHLOE

(Sighing)

Please tell me it hasn't started raining; I have my Interview this afternoon. I wanted to tie my hair up.

Alex.

What I don’t get is why women grow their hair long only to tie it up.

(No one took him on)

(DAN bursts through the front door, carrying a cardboard box. He is soaking wet but beaming.)

DAN

Look what I just found.

ALEX

My Cheese?

DAN

What the hell are you on about?

MARCUS

It could be the Imaginary girlfriend he keeps talking about.

DAN

(Dan flips Marcus the middle finger)

Up yours, Marcus. I do have a girlfriend, and one day you will have the privilege of meeting her.

(SAM scurries through the kitchen, neon spandex a little too tight. He grabs a shaker bottle, fills it with water, and turns to leave.)

CHLOE

Sam! Wait! It’s your turn to buy toilet rolls.

SAM

Can't, not today. It’s my Leg Day.

(SAM vanishes back into his bedroom, slamming the door)

ALEX

Does he work, or does he just lift weights, ride his bike and leave skid-marked undies on the bathroom floor?

SOPHIE

(Sitting down)

I like Sam. He keeps his protein powder very neat, not like some people I could mention, and how do you know they have skid marks?

(Sophie looks at Dan)

 Oh, Dan, what's in the box?

(DAN drops his box at the breakfast bar. It knocks over CHLOE’s massive mug of coffee. It floods across her magazine)

CHLOE

(Screaming)

My notes! Dan, you're an arsehole.

DAN

Oh, mate, sorry! It’s fine, look; the cardboard will absorb it.

(puts his hand at the side of his mouth, saying)

She won’t get the job; I don’t know why she’s going.

CHLOE

Move! Just move! And I’m not a mate or a she, why can’t you remember?

(CHLOE aggressively dabs the books with tea towels. MARCUS starts filming the chaos on his phone)

MARCUS

This is pure Salford gold.

ALEX

( Grabbing for the phone)

Turn that off before I throw it into the Irwell.

(Suddenly, the overhead lights flicker and go completely dead. The hum of the fridge stops.)

SOPHIE

Oh. Isn’t this romantic? Have we been transformed back into seventies blackouts?

CHLOE

(In the dark)

Dan, did you pay the electric bill? I gave you my share three days ago.

DAN

(Silence for a moment)

Define "pay."

ALEX

Dan!

DAN

(changing the subject)

I'll get the fuse box, don’t you lot worry, I risk my life under the stairs with all those spiders.

MARCUS

Look, my laptop is on two per cent left. If this job isn't saved. If I lose this gig, I can’t pay next month’s rent, I can’t eat. OH my god, my life will be over.

SOPHIE

(Sophie turns on the torch on her phone)                                   

Don't worry! I have scented candles from IKEA. Oh                              this is so exciting.

ALEX

(Sighs heavily)

It’s dark, freezing, and we’ve got no power—and my dinner was supposed to be cheese, until someone nicked it.

CHLOE

Welcome to Salford.

(SAM’s door cracks open)

SAM

Hey, my Peloton has just gone off.

(They all stare at him in silence.)

[SCENE END]